Let me preface this by saying, I realize it has been FOREVER since I have written anything here …. the winter, life, and just simply not being in the mood for writing are my excuses. But this is something I did want to write about because it has been on my heart for a while. I do not know what it is about the female population, but relationships seem to be a BIG topic of discussion. Whether you are in one and discussing the details, or not in one and discussing what you want in someone, or dreaming of “one day”.
I hear girls ALL the time talk about their “list”. You know what I mean. The checklist of criteria that all girls have. If you don’t, let me show you .. it goes something like this ..
“He must be 6 feet tall, dark hair, play sports, be into God (duh!), be honest, have a good sense of humor, open the door for me, have a good job etc..”
Then every time they meet a new guy, if he doesn’t fit their “list” they lose interest .. and quickly. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am NOT against having standards at ALL. I encourage them. If you don’t have standards you will settle for anything, and that is also not good. There are a lot of losers out there who I would never want to date myself, OR have my friends date. But you know what .. that is NOT what this post is about. I want to talk to you ladies.
You see, you have this list … and don’t lie to me, I know you do. We all have “ideals”, even guys have them. However, what I want to know, and to ask, is are YOU the person that YOU would want to marry.
You see, it really irks me to hear about girls talking about their perfect guy. For one, there is no such thing as perfect, and for two, in order to find your ideal guy, you need to be his ideal girl. What do I mean by that? Well, let me tell you 🙂
You want to marry someone who is strong in their faith, puts God first, and is a leader in his life. Well, are you? Are you someone who is strong in their faith, who puts God first, and who is a leader in your life?
That does not mean you need to be standing at the front of the room with a microphone giving directions, or being the boss of your own company. It means you need to live a life that someone can follow. A life of integrity, honesty, and good character. That is what leaders do. Or should be doing, not all do, lets be real, here. Some of the best leaders that I have known, are people who lead without trying. The simply lead by being an example, and people follow because of who they are, and not what they do.
You want someone who loves others, and is kind to everyone. I mean who doesn’t want that? But are you being that? Are you someone who loves people, regardless of what others think? Are you someone who is kind to those around you, and not just the people you “get along” with.
You see, it is not about what you are looking for, but more about who you are. If you are living a life of integrity, honesty, and good character, then you are going to attract this kind of person. And also is true for the opposite. You will attract the kind of person you are.
My challenge is this. Rather than writing down your list of what you want in someone else, write down your list of what you want to be. The kind of person that you want to be known for, and remembered by. Then, do your best to live like this person, daily. You will learn as you go, and you will become more and more of that person everyday. And before you know it, you will have attracted that guy that is just right for you, without even trying.
There is nothing wrong with having “ideals”, and things you are attracted to. That is normal. There are kinds of people we click with better than others. But, I truly believe that you will be better off if you drop the list, focus on YOU, and then just trust God for his ideals for you.